Chihuahua Nebula Character Guide

CHI-1CHARLTON

UNIVERSE

Chihuahua Nebula

OTHER ALIASES

Chi-Town, Handsome Man, Charlie-Town

PLACE OF ORIGIN

Dignity’s Quiet Pond of Austere Reflection

IDENTITY

Sealed until the next millenium

KNOWN RELATIVES

Izzy, Francis Pants, Dulce, Lucy (deceased), mom, dad

BIOGRAPHY

Trapped in a cage, brought to a strange land of heat and pink jeeps, Charlton’s murky past is one of survival and grit. Rumors abound of his imprisonment and courageous fight for a family of his own. In the heat of Arizona, his exploits were barked about, though sadly never translated to English, leaving his first year of life a riddle the world may never solve. Charlton himself speaks little of his time behind bars at the Humane Society and what led him, a strapping specimen prone to battling mail carriers, there in the first place.

More recently, however, Charlton has grown accustomed to the powers he harnessed while on the “forever home” cell block. With a raised paw and sad eyes, Charlton (ALSO KNOWN AS HANDSOME MAN) can mentally project the song “Through the Eyes of an Angel” at will. He can speak the word treat in four languages and has super hearing, which enables him to hear both a wrapper opening in the kitchen and the mailman two blocks away at the same time.



CHI-4DULCE

UNIVERSE

Chihuahua Nebula

OTHER ALIASES

Doolsay, Dulce Hammer, Hammer Time, Pretty

PLACE OF ORIGIN

The Frankenstein Wind

IDENTITY

Unintelligable

KNOWN RELATIVES

Izzy, Francis Pants, Charlton Chi-Town, Lucy (deceased), mom, dad

BIOGRAPHY

Never has a canine of her stature been able to blur reality with only a gentle breeze to egg her on, but this and other abilities have earned her the enduring respect of her peers. The largest of the pack inhabiting the Chihuahua Nebula (but still rated small in the dog scale), Dulce developed early on the preternatural ability to move through the fabric of time itself, running with such speed that she can appear in two places at once. While her swiftness has never been measured, she’s been heard one moment on the kitchen counter and, within the blink of an eye, found to be staring innocently from her bed two rooms away with only the dust of potato chips on her chin as proof an infraction of time and space occurred.

Dulce is the youngest of the pack, but being born of the Frankenstein Wind, she quickly asserted dominance over the pack, save the Throne Couch inhabited by her sister, Izzy (SEE KNOWN RELATIVES), and uses her wild corgi, Chihuahua, and rat terrier abilities to regularly patrol her domain and ensure her reign as the Nebula’s premier queen.



CHI-3FRANCIS

UNIVERSE

Chihuahua Nebula

OTHER ALIASES

Pants, Mister Pants, Cutie Patootie

PLACE OF ORIGIN

The gates of the Aztec Empire

IDENTITY

Faw-RAN-shiss

KNOWN RELATIVES

Dulce Hammer, Izzy Scareda, Charlton Chi-Town, mom, dad

BIOGRAPHY

Francis was born from mystery. His whereabouts prior to his appearance at the SPCA in Monterey will forever be regarded as one the universe’s most baffling puzzles. While he’s hinted at such things as prior knowledge of a dog door, his understanding of play is severely limited, leaving little for historians to glean. When brought to live with his relatives in the Nebula, Francis showed remarkable peace-keeping abilities. His affection for all three of his siblings (SEE KNOWN RELATIVES) has made him one of the strongest members of the pack.

While on a recent scouting mission in the backyard region of the nebula, Francis proved his worth as a protector of the pack when he chased two pigeons from the area by running nearly fifteen feet without stopping.



CHI-2IZZY

UNIVERSE

Chihuahua Nebula

OTHER ALIASES

Iz, Izzy Izzy Izzy, Scarlett, Izzy Scareda

PLACE OF ORIGIN

The Great Iron Forge

IDENTITY

Izquerda Frida Kahlo la’Beau

KNOWN RELATIVES

Dulce Hammer, Francis Pants, Charlton Chi-Town, mom, dad

BIOGRAPHY

Izzy may well be the oldest member of the Chihuahua Nebula pack, but as a three-legged teacup Chihuahua, she is also the smallest. She first appeared, as if from a bolt of indignant lighting, at the border of the Monterey and Pacific Grove Empires. There tales were told of her heroic leap from a point high as Heaven itself, a feat that ultimately cost her leg, but gained her much more in return. For Izzy is never without her miniature collection of dolls, her mighty igloo home, her entourage of trusted blankets, and the mysterious twin stairs that bookend either side of her throne (AKA COUCH).

Her dominance over the pack has never been in question, as she is both the unspoken and unheard ruler in her opinion. As others have learned the hard way, cross her and unleash her terrible motor growl- a sound like a zipper being pulled really fast-at your peril!



 

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San Francisco Comic Con Top 10

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It’s a geek’s fantasy realized. A nerd’s dreams turned flesh and blood. A dad’s headache from the noise, but worth it. I’m all of that and a grumpy bag of chips. But, as most of my friends know, I’m a sucker for heroes and stories. Being a father to a younger comics/pop culture aficionado, the 2018 San Francisco Comic Con was the place to hang our invisible fedoras. Before I get into what was (nice about it) killer, let me tack on a couple of bitches. It’s what I do. First off, consider larger conference rooms for some of the workshops. We missed Starlin (Starlin! The guy who devised the Infinity War storyline!) because it was too full, which got me pissy for a hot minute. Parking was also gnarly, but when isn’t it?

On to what was super:

People
Staff was on it. They were all over it. Staff nailed it.

10. Comic Con staff

A friend of one of the con’s founders, and I never got her name (a theme for me on this trip), was one of the first people my son and I encountered in the hotel elevator. She went above and beyond in helping us navigate what could have been, for a dense man like me, a confusing morning of con registration. Instead she got us hooked up the night before with our wrist bands and gave us the rundown on what to expect once the pop culture adventure exploded in our faces. You can’t beat that kind of customer service with a barbed-wire baseball bat.

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The view from our sweet suite.

9. Oakland Marriott

Who knew the Marriott was actually connected to the Convention Center where the San Francisco Comic Con was held? Not this doofus. It was a sweet surprise when we realized we wouldn’t have to leave the building. Riding the elevator from our posh room (with paper-thin walls, however, which I discovered thanks to a lusty romantic couple next door); we were deposited right into a throng of Deadpools, Darths, and Who Police Boxes. It was the best ever. Great place, great views, great that Netflix connected to the huuuge flat screen, and great staff.

Warriors
A man sweeps the streets of Oakland, while another jumps a human ramp, to celebrate the Golden State Warriors victory over the Cavs.

8. Golden State Sweep

Not that it has anything to do with the con, but crazy as Hell that our trip to Oakland coincided like a train wreck with the Warrior Playoff sweep over the Cavs and LeBron James! When we got there, people were just taking to the streets downtown to celebrate, chanting “Warriors!” from the windows down to the subway. Some were even holding brooms from three stories above ground, sweeping the air, because why not? So it was a good kind of train wreck. Insanity save for valet parking. Warriors!

Walking Dead
Ben getting a signed first issue, number one, collector’s edition, etc.

7. The Walking Dead Guy

I may be a newbie to the Walking Dead pop culture machine (on season four, so much blood), but my son isn’t. He’s the guy who got me hooked on it, so for him to meet one of the guys who made the dead walk in the pages of the original Image comic book was incredible. Dude was super nice too (isn’t it always a good idea to mention if someone is approachable? If it is, then everyone there was just that). The worst part? Not sure of his name…

Ginny
Nerding with every flavored bean breath with Bonnie Wright.

6. Ginny Weasley

Her real name is Bonnie Wright, but for most of us in line to meet her, she was Ginny – beloved wife to the wizard we all know and root for: Harry Potter (HP to us cool kids). I can’t even write the name without saying it with an English accent in my head. My son and I, besides grabbing a pic with her, heard her talk about her work in directing and with environmental organizations like Greenpeace. As HP nerds, just getting to meet her was… magical (ugh).

Frakes
William T. Riker is in the hizzay!

5. Number One (at number five)

Genres of all kinds appeal to me. As a teen, none grabbed me more than Star Trek: The Next Generation when it came to weekly television. I was reading horror, flipping through Heavy Metal and Flaming Carrot Comics, but I never missed a single TNG episode. Not a single one. Jonathan Frakes is a polite, friendly guy in person – though to be fair meeting him was uber brief. But hey, being in the presence of Number One, the guy who gave us Star Trek First Contact, one of the reasons The Orville rocks, was enough to excite this fan boy.

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Me and Gerry Conway, down by the school yard. Or hanging at a con and talking about Punisher stuff.

4. Gerry Conway

You know meeting a Marvel Comics icon would make my list. I counted myself a True Believer during the days Lou Ferrigno got himself painted green every week. I was one of the only kids on my block who knew the word, “Excelsior!” And even back then, I knew about the Punisher. Gerry Conway is one of the co-creators of the character, which he introduced in Amazing Spider-Man No. 129. He’s also the writer who (gasp) killed off Gwen Stacy back in the day. I gushed on him at the con, but he was cool with it.

Afterburner-1
Issue 2 is a keeper.

3. Afterburner Comics

What’s better than going to a gigantic comic con in Oakland (yes, it’s called the San Francisco Comic Con, and yes, I know San Diego’s is bigger, but does size matter?) and straying from your preplanned itinerary into uncharted territory (yes, I make itineraries). I found something pretty damn cool in Afterburner Comics and came away with a treat I wasn’t expecting. I found a new underground comic to sink my intellectual teeth into, one full of black and white noir and adults-only pizzazz. If you haven’t come across the brilliant Robert Stewart and Afterburner Comics, you’re missing out.

Gray
Making the time to hang! Thanks, Claudia!

2. Claudia Gray

Claudia Gray is an author everyone should read. Many of us have in fact. She’s also a joy to meet in person. Her work has been made a part of the Star Wars universe, which tells you something about her prose. Whether it’s canon, not canon, I can never keep up, so I don’t know. I’m not one to let it bug me anyway. She’s a good writer and meeting her amidst the buzz and bang of the convention was a personal highlight.

 

 

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1.  The Cosplay

You hear about it in secret. You read about it on the dark web. You think you’re prepared. But then you walk into a man inside an inflated Pikachu. You see cosplayers in real life and you take a gut punch in the “I’m geeked out and really amazed” region. These people are incredible. The detail, the love and giddy excitement, are evident in what they do. Without the thrill of the cosplayers, conventions like the San Francisco Comic Con wouldn’t be the blinding, shining beacon of hip absurdity this world needs. They make these things what they are.

 

American Static: interview with Author Tom Pitts

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American Static by Tom Pitts  Down & Out Books (June 26, 2017)

Some writers are like doctors. They have the stuff you need right when you need it most. Tom Pitts is an author like that. Having read American Static at a time when I was thirsty for a blast of literary danger, the book was like the tall beer Tom’s holding in his author photo. It hit the spot.What starts as a deadly, and compelling, crime thriller; American Static soons takes on a darker twist. The story unfolds to reveal murderous political intrigue, a savage quest for the truth, and weaves in a sweet love story  – albeit in a surprising way.

When I got a chance to sit down with Tom, the first thing on my mind was all the great characters sprinkled throughout the book, so I started there…

PATRICK WHITEHURST: You have Quinn, Carl, Tremblay, Steven, Teresa, and a cast of others, nearly all a bit shady. How did you keep them straight?

TOM PITTS: If you’re referring to the juggling of POVs, it’s the only way I see the whole picture. It’s more than just a third-person perspective, it’s a lens through which we can see each character’s motivations. I took this idea a little further than in my last novel, Hustle. And I think the result is a faster moving, more exciting ride.

As far as them being shady, to be fair, kindly ol’ Carl ain’t too shady. But all characters—just like people—come in varying shades of grey. They just aren’t black or white. Mind you, some are blacker than others. I think even the most evil motherfucker in the world still likes a chuckle now and again, still likes to sit down and watch Bob’s Burgers, you know?

WHITEHURST: You’re knocking back a few at the bar and some dude asks you to describe American Static. What do you tell him?

Tom Pitts at Boucher
Author Tom Pitts.

PITTS: I tell ‘em it’s a devil-at-the-crossroads kind of tale. That’s what Quinn is. He’s that intoxicating, charismatic devil that’ll take you on a fast ride to hell.

WHITEHURST: When you gaze at the stars, thinking wistfully on those glorious days spent writing the book, what stands out? What part of American Static really turned you on?

PITTS: I was on a roll after Hustle. I marched forward on this one full of cocky confidence. The plot unfolded and the puzzle presented itself to me perfectly. I love that feeling when the pieces fit together. What I remember most—when I put together the political backstory that’s the impetus for the events—is jumping up from the keyboard and yelling Yes!

WHITEHURST: What can you tell us about an audiobook?

PITTS: I’m very excited about it. It’s the first audio book being done for one of my stories. The narrator, Daniel Greenberg, has done an excellent job. I listened to a lot of audio books during a hellish commute I endured a few years back. And I mean a LOT of audio books, and Daniel has just the even-handed style I like—not too dramatic, not too flat. I’m told it’ll be done by the start of May, so I’m hoping it’ll be available in June. If it goes well, I’m going to do one for Hustle and the new book, 101.

WHITEHURST: The movie question now: who would you cast? I could almost see De Niro as Quinn, maybe a younger version. Thoughts?

PITTS: I do hate being pinned down by this question. Once I have someone in mind it’s hard to get them out of my head, but … since you asked. I think I’d like to see Frank Grillo as Quinn. He’d be perfect for it. He’s got something scary going on just under the surface. It’d be tough for a just any old pretty boy to sell it. Frank has a bit of grit. The kind of guy you can never feel quite comfortable around.

WHITEHURST: What about bands? Who do you listen to when you type?

PITTS: Nobody. I’ve always worked in silence. I’ve gone so far as to stuff toilet paper in my ears and pump white noise through some headphones to find silence. Rob Hart recently asked on Twitter about playlists for writing, the soundtrack that a writer prepares for each novel. A light went on over my head—a playlist to block the world out? Brilliant. Maybe I’ll try it the next time around. Especially if it’s a period piece.

WHITEHURST: What’s the story these days? What are you working on?

PITTS: I just finished the final edits for my next novel, 101. It’s coming out in November from Down & Out. It takes my shifting POV philosophy even further. I’ve very proud of the book. It’s fast-moving, funny, and full of wild characters. It’s set against the backdrop of a pot farm in Humboldt County six months before it went legal in California. I spent a fair amount of time in those hills doing research—yeah, that’s what we’ll call it—and I hope it captures the tone of the hills. I’m still working on the Hustle script and doing the dance with Hollywood. Hopefully I’ll have some solid news to share about that soon. I can say things are heating up though. Then, I suppose, it’s time to roll up my sleeves and get to work on a new novel. I can’t wait to get back to that strange headspace where I spend a few hours a day in the unpredictable world of my own fiction.

Visit Tom’s website here.

Order American Static here.

Interview with Clean Sweep author Michael J. Clark

Sweep-1
Clean Sweep by Michael J. Clark, ECW Press (March 13, 2018)

Not every day is peaches and cream. Some days are just terrible. But when you find a good read, it’s always peaches and cream. This was the case when I read Michael J. Clark’s debut crime novel Clean Sweep, out this month from the fine folks over at ECW Press. It’s all warm and fuzzy, in a violent crime-filled way, which is fine with me. Check out my interview with Clark below!

PATRICK WHITEHURST: There are a number of great characters in Clean Sweep. How did you develop them and how did you manage to keep them all straight?

MICHAEL J. CLARK: We start with Tommy Bosco. The good pastor is loosely based on a good friend of mine, a reformed smuggler with the gift of gab when it comes to his days of criminality. Just when I think he’s told me every story, he makes my jaw drop again. ‘Tommy’ just told me a tale about the night he was shot five times, and drove himself to the hospital. I’m sure there’s some truth in that story, be it ever so slight. Maybe it was only twice, maybe he was grazed, or it could have just been cuts from a bullet-shattered side window as he sped away. ‘Tommy’ has this ability to either make you love the story, or love the bullshit. If it’s all just bullshit, it’s the best bullshit I’ve ever heard, double album-worthy.
I’ve read many a police procedural in my time, so coming up with cops that were clean, semi-clean, or dirty/homicidal-for-hire wasn’t too much of a stretch. In retrospect, Clean Sweep could have been written as a police procedural. I decided to bring the fringe characters out of the shadows. Think of the guy who’s always loading a van while being questioned by a pair of homicide cops on Law & Order. Doesn’t he have a story beyond those crates? Maybe, just maybe, Man Loading Van is the story. Same with the person who becomes the corpse. The unfortunate stiff is always the last to know, right up to the point that the hammer hits the back of the shell casing.
In the case of Clean Sweep, I decided to ‘compartmentalize’ the various groups until the need arose to intertwine them. (Uh-oh, I think I’ve got a touch of ‘Tommy’s’ bullshit creeping in here). Keeping the various characters/groups where I needed them to be meant that there were only so many of them peering over my shoulder during the keyboard clatter. It was the only way I could handle it without turning into Jack Torrance.
I’m a huge fan of conspiracies. I truly believe that the development of ‘misdirection technology’ (that TV set you call a phone) is not only planned, its truly required to ensure shadowy success.The conspiracy I floated in Clean Sweep has its seedlings in the sandy soil of historical record in Canada. I just added the Miracle-Gro.

Sweep-2
Mr. Clark

WHITEHURST: A lot of writers listen to a “soundtrack” when they write, music that inspires their words. Was this the case with Clean Sweep?

CLARK: There are a few snippets of music in the book. I enjoy jazz, and I’m learning more about it, though I’m anything but an expert on the notes the musicians play, or the ones they don’t. The ‘music’ has more to do with the research, like watching reams of vintage YouTube that relate to the story. I could listen to British announcers reporting on the 1950 Manitoba flood into the wee small hours. I should mention that my second book is set in 1985 in Winnipeg. There’s plenty of music in that romp, and there had to be. (Silly haunted radios…)

WHITEHURST: Picture yourself plopped down at a seedy dive bar. What would you tell the bartender who asks what your book is about? It’s gotta be different than how you’d explain it to a publicist, right?

CLARK: Well, lets assume that I’m into my third quality scotch by this point, neat. “Well friend, Clean Sweep is about the Winnipeg that no one wants to talk about, but everyone knows is there, just like any town on the face of the earth. And do you have any more peanuts?”

WHITEHURST: Without giving anything away, what part of writing the book made you sit back and think, “I’m a rock star?”

CLARK: Rock star? I’d settle for Polka King right now. I think its when you come up with those fun little phrases, the ‘you’re gonna need a bigger boat’ nuggets. You wonder if they’ll have the same impact for the reader as they did for you.

WHITEHURST: Everyone asks this, so I will too. Who would you pick to be in the Clean Sweep movie?

CLARK: I’ve had the pleasure of knowing a few people in the film, theatre, and comedy world in Winnipeg. I’ve been enjoying the adaptation of Caught by Lisa Moore on the Mother Corporation, AKA the CBC. There’s such an incredible pool of Canadian talent to pull from. Kristen Kreuk from Burden of Truth could have her pick of roles. I’ve gotta get Adam Beach in there somewhere. Many of the characters are perfect for the abundance of character actors that abound. I’ve been a fan of Michael Ironside since Scanners. (A perfect Ernie Friday.) As for Pastor Bosco, I’m still thinking. ‘Tommy’ looks a lot like Richard Rawlings from Fast ‘n Loud. Hmmmmm…

Thanks for the great interview, Michael! Clean Sweep is available now. Get your hands on it here.